losing it

I am really beginning to lose the grip on my sanity. Last week, starting Monday, my ability to breathe was declining rapidly. By Wednesday, no improvement and more pain. So I went to the ER per the rheums instructuions. See last blog entry. This week, in order to keep from having no painkillers, I had to follow up with my PCP and check in with the rheum. So Monday did all that. The PCP extended my use of just plain oxycodone, and the rheum called in an Rx for Idomethacin to see how it helps on the inflammation. By Monday night, my left foot was swollen. Hmm. So since I was couch sleeping anyways, I tried to elevate the foot a bit too. By next morn, both feet kinda puffy. I wore comfy shoes to work with my jeans, and figured it would be ok.Plus I kept it elevated at work and even at therapy. By the time I got home at like 5:45, both feet and ankles were huge, and oddly, my knees felt like my pants were tight on them. So I look, and from the knees down are huge puffy messes. I tried pressing, and the skin didn't stay pitted, so, once again, on the couch for breathing anyways, so up with the feet as well. By Weds, called the rheum, she tells me to keep an eye on my blood pressure, and I need to come in for 10:30 am friday so she can see my legs. In the meantime, just wait. So here I wait with giant puffy sort of numb but also in pain legs and feet, still trying to breathe, and because pain trumps sleep, having gotten very little rest in two weeks, my mental state is droooooping.I try not to cry at the drop of the hat and not get messy.I feel better now that I have vented.